Hiroshima
by Steel Ascension
Summary: A fic from Meiko's perspective that puts a different spin on the Hiroshima episodes.


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-Author's Notes-  
This is a parallel-type fic with Meiko speaking, creating a different spin on the eps where she and Miki travel to Hiroshima to confront Namura-sensei. Some details are not proved in the anime or manga, such as them sleeping together, etc. It is also a crossover from my life, as I wrote this with the episodes in mind, but also with me speaking. Whatever. ^_^; It gets kind of cheesy, but you know.  
-End Author's Notes-

Hiroshima  
  
When I go to Hiroshima, I will stand on the edge of the ocean, looking out across the water, with my hair being blown and tossed about in the wind. My green eyes will be brimming with tears- my face will be chilled from the cold wind. You'll walk up behind me, and I will turn to face you. My hand will cover my mouth, hiding the gasp that will escape from my cold lips. You'll talk to me casually at first, but I will hear nothing of that. I will tell you how I have found what you told me to look for, all those months ago. I tell you that I can't get over you because I love you. I will throw myself against your chest and cry, asking you to let me be by your side again.   


Your hands will reach up, like they want to hold me. Your jaw will clench, and then your hands will drop once again to your side. You will stand in silence for a few moments like this- moments that are so torturously slow I will be able to hear time flowing like thick honey, pouring over my senses. Then you will simply say, "No."   


My eyes will widen, even though I won't be surprised. I already saw that coming. I will cry softly to myself first, then bravely raise my head. I tell you that I won't come to see you again. I am not sure what you're doing, or the reasons. "But..." I start, and turn around. "I'll probably love you forever!!!"   


When evening falls on Hiroshima, an insidious darkness hangs in the air. One can hear the waves crashing upon the jagged rocks along the shore. One can hear the birds singing still, faintly- and in the distance, the last of the cicadas buzzing, sending remembrance of the summer. My heart pounds loudly, filling my eardrums with a wild, tribal-like percussion.   
But all I will hear is silence. Absolute silence.   


Because this time, when evening falls on Hiroshima, I will be going home alone. I will leave you there. You, with your dark eyes and dark hair and tall, strong body. You, with your words and emotions colder than this chilling wind. I will walk away, and leave you there. I used to run to you when I needed something. I used to want you to protect me, because I felt like I needed to be protected. This is the last time I will run to you. It will never happen again. It is over. I am not the little girl I used to be when I would look up at you with innocent, adoring eyes. I am not the little girl who would cling to your arm while we were walking, like you were the one who kept me upright. I am not the little girl you held in your arms after we made love, green eyes wild and long hair disheveled.   


I no longer have that innocence which all girls who have never been broken possess. I no longer need someone to hold me up, to be my balance. I no longer devote the passion I have inside of me to you. I do not need you to validate my existence. I never did. I will leave you there, on that beach, with the idealistic dreams of that little girl. I will leave you there, on the edge of the ocean, with the piece of my heart and soul that remains with a first love.   


And when my mistress moon is paled by the dawning of a new day over Hiroshima, I will leave there with more maturity and perspective than I have gained in all of my life.   


Sometimes, for some people to move on... to understand things... they must be immersed in their own darkness. They must embrace it, and confront everything they never wanted to confront. See all the things they knew were true, but never wanted to see. They must have their final moment of desperation. They must drop to their knees and cry until they feel their soul pouring out of their eyes along with the tears. They must go into that darkness. I will go there. I will leave. I am calling it Hiroshima.


End file.
